Ji FU reviewed I hate you - don't leave me by Jerold J. Kreisman
If only I had known sooner
5 stars
I Hate You—Don't Leave Me first jumped out at me in the bookstore. I have said that exact phrase to my wife more times than I'd like to admit. Whilst I bought it that day, it was over 10 years later before I actually read it.
I felt the book was written at a very understandable level, unlike many works related to medical issues, without making me feel like the author was speaking down to me, unlike many other medical works. The first half resonated with me very much, whilst they kind of lost me a bit in the second half. Granted its audience appears to primarily be the friends and family of a BPD rather than for the BPD himself. When communicating they recommend using SET (Support, Empathy, Truth) communication. From a high level it makes sense, but my brain couldn't really wrap around most of the examples …
I Hate You—Don't Leave Me first jumped out at me in the bookstore. I have said that exact phrase to my wife more times than I'd like to admit. Whilst I bought it that day, it was over 10 years later before I actually read it.
I felt the book was written at a very understandable level, unlike many works related to medical issues, without making me feel like the author was speaking down to me, unlike many other medical works. The first half resonated with me very much, whilst they kind of lost me a bit in the second half. Granted its audience appears to primarily be the friends and family of a BPD rather than for the BPD himself. When communicating they recommend using SET (Support, Empathy, Truth) communication. From a high level it makes sense, but my brain couldn't really wrap around most of the examples they used.
It is eerie how much Dr. Kreisman describes me in his writing of Border Line Personality (BPD) disorder. Much of what has been diagnosed by my doctors as Bipolar and Depresion, may actually have been deeper BPD. But I'm pretty sure my ADHD i still ADHD. What really got me was their listing of the medical definition indicating a patient needed to have 5 of 8 given criteria, and I'm pretty sure I got all 8.
This book was written in 1989 so I'm not sure how much of its contents is now out-of-date. One example was linking BPD to homosexuality and sexual deviations. No modern doctor would speak like that, while I wasn't offended, some others may be.
I want to get a copy of the 3rd edition released in 2021 to see what has been updated, though from the reviews I've seen on LibraryThing there still may be gaps for the 21st century.
I'm not sure how much I will be able to adjust my life having this more information; my wife read it too, I don't ever recall reading a book with two bookmarks in it before. 🙂 At the very least if I ever seek professional mental health again I'll bring this copy with me.